Vulnerable

Have you had many moments of seeing your neediness and/or desperation to be known?  I get scared in these moments and feel terribly vulnerable.  I get all hot, my cheeks turn bright pink, and my blood pressure raises.  (Kind of like when I'm drinking wine except for the blood pressure thing.)  It's not really that fun for me and it takes me hours to come down from the adrenaline rush.

The other day I had a mirror moment as I shared some of my more "liberal" Jesus thoughts with a newer friend and felt my body do it's thing again.  Sheesh.  I shared because I want to be known.  I gave a little more of my heart away as I decided to let myself need someone to know me.  I floundered and was tempted a few times to back out of my thoughts but stood in a place of honesty.  And to be honest with you all, I still feel that vulnerability from the conversation. 

And the question is always, "What are they going to do with that?"  Can I trust them with who I truly am? 

No matter what, I can trust Jesus.  He knows me and keeps me close when I am afraid.  With Him I can be known in my most vulnerable state (which scares the bejeezus out of me).